Lessons Dad Never Taught You

How Not To Let Others Tear You Down

 

It could be frustrating to carefully focus on developing ourselves, our abilities, confidence and ultimately self esteem and self-worth, to only have someone try to tear down them.

Most of the time they aren’t intentionally trying to do this; sometimes it is rather intentional.

Whatever the reason, here are my strategies to cope with this:

1. Comprehend

First, I try to “realize” reasons why someone might attempt to do that. I say “understand” because (1) we can only guess at someone’s reasons at just about any given time and (2) you really shouldn’t spend a lot of time here…someone who is acting in this manner doesn’t deserve a lot of investigation and believed.

Either way, here are a few ways to get a broad understanding which will enable you to shield yourself:

Individuals minimizers or are either maximizers

A while back, my husband’s manager gave him this wonderful bit of advice. Minimizers are people who consider that by simply shoving down those around them, they’re going to go upward and forward. Everyone, every single man, is among those two things. There is absolutely no middle ground or grey area. An individual who’s trying to tear you down is likely a minimizer (more significant issue: what are you?).
Don’t let others tear down you
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Sometimes, folks just can not see you

One of my favorite bible verses states:

…because pigs don’t understand the difference between coloured parts of glass and pearls. They just don’t, and you can’t expect them to understand.

Can you ask a 1 month old to play Mozart? Same thing.

Insecurities and discouragements frequently lead our reactions

Most of the time, it’s not about you. Who the heck is aware of what’s happening in their lives. The last thing you need to do is internalize conduct that doesn’t have anything regarding you. One other individual is already suffering with toxin, why take on it and endure with them?

2. Distance yourself

It’s quite easy for me to shed a person that is hazardous from my life. Before it starts affecting me I am only able to take on so much toxicity in my surroundings. When it gets dangerously high, the image that comes to mind is like dropping a hot potato.

You don’t think of it, you walk away and just drop it.

3. Cultivate empathy

If I can’t distance myself, I try to cultivate empathy within myself.

People hurt.

I can’t imagine what it should be like to live life in that way. The level of suffering should not be credible just contemplating it brings shortness of breath….

4. Prep

Eventually we can identify the individuals who act in this manner around us that we can’t distance ourselves from.

From a coworker to a relative, simply accept the truth that this is the way that they are, now will probably not function as the magical day they decide to transform, and when you know you will see them or need to cope together, prepare yourself mentally.

5. Set limits

This really is demanding, but essential.

People treat you the manner in which you allow and instruct them to treat you.

I discovered this later than I should have. No one sent me the memo!

I believed that if you treated them with respect and were pleasant to all those around you, they might automatically handle exactly the same way. Nope, not the case.

They key is to have enough self-worth not to feel guilty when creating your limits. It’s possible for you to convey these in a way that is professional, letting those around you understand what you do not accept and do.

Yes, folks might matter you’re chilly, distant, too serious. Get over it; than let someone tear down me, I ‘d much rather be called those matters.

FYI, someone once gave me the amazing piece of guidance that communicating your limitations could occur around you with a look, words, and even the energy. More on this shortly!

I trust this helps! Share it with your friends and family in case you enjoyed this post!